BLACKBURN AND SWEETZER

There I was, walking along 3rd Street Sunday morning, lost and confused. Where should I go first - Hillary Rush, Filly, or Danmark? And there it was, the path I was looking for but simply didn’t know it until I saw it nailed to a street post: The Word. Uh, seriously, is that how it works? I always wonder about the logic behind placement of signs like these. If we can just catch the heathens coming out of Toast, I think we can get ‘em? I get it, you’re really into JC, but wouldn’t the neighborly thing be to keep that shit to yourself? I don’t go around erecting signs that say GOD DOES NOT EXIST and I have a little thing called science on my side. My thing is, don’t try to proselytize me, my (as yet unborn) children, and while you’re at it, keep it out of the political process because I thought I had another little thing called separation of church and state on my side as well. Faith-based initiatives? A total violation. Because teaching abstinence really works when you’re 16 and horny.